Sorry just wanted to vent really - So my best friend yesterday had a baby girl and of course I am all smiles and happiness but deep down I am jealous and gutted - why isnt it me? Why are some people lucky and get what they want?  She didnt even know - a suprise - Of course I go to the hospital to see her and there is pink everywhere lots of clothes and noone really knows how desperate I am - then I get from her parents - 'when are you going to have a girl?'  I know I am being selfish and awful I have two healthy boys that I adore but on top of that although DH has agreed we can do high tech - every time I bring it up he will brush it off, change the subject or it will end up in arguement! So not sure what he is thinking?  Also my boys are young and lively as boys are and my friend has made comments about how others friends boys are lively and out of control so she will be sitting there with her perfect little girl all quiet and good and all the other boys will be running amock and she will be thinking ' I am so glad I have girl!!'

Sorry - just wanted to get off my chest - cant say to anyone really...

x

Sazzer, I would feel exactly the same!! I have been in situations like that myself. Soooo annoying!! It was good that you posted your frustrations, that way at least you can get it off your chest to people that actually understand you!! As for DH. I am in a similair situatuion. I think that he is up to trying for another girl, but when I bring it up it always leads into an argument. That's why I have to bide my time.

Try to find time to sit with him without the boys around and get things clear. Ask him directly 'Would you like to go through with this?' 'Do you have any concerns?' Things like that, so that maybe he sees that you are making the effort to see things in his world.  I don't know, maybe he'll open up.

 

I have also been in those situations but the other way around - "Oh your poor husband is so outnumbered".

People say silly things all the time. It kills me.

I come home have a cry and try to remember I am very lucky and luckier still there are options for me to try again for a boy. Maybe you will be lucky again too. It might happen very soon - you never know :)

Edited to add - my girls are not quiet! They do not sit there and look sweet. The couple of times I've brought my girls in to a hospital DD1 has run off and around hysterically. Maybe she might have girls like mine ;)

 

Thank you for your replies and I know you are right - I knew you would all understand.

I think also its the worry, will it happen for me? What if we go all the way and it doesnt work? The money? I suppose I feel its unfair when we are on here researching, saving money, worrying about clinics and some people 1 boy 1 girl all sorted - ideal family.

 

PlanB:

Edited to add - my girls are not quiet! They do not sit there and look sweet. The couple of times I've brought my girls in to a hospital DD1 has run off and around hysterically. Maybe she might have girls like mine ;)

Glad to hear not all girls are perfect..heres hoping....

 

Thanks xx

 

Hi Sazzer!  ....I know how you feel hon, and it really does hurt when some-one close to you 'gets a girl'...as it is a stark reminder of what you do not have.  Of course you love your boys to bits, as I do mine...but even if I had 10 DS...they still would not make up for not having a daughter

Sazzer:

then I get from her parents - 'when are you going to have a girl?'

....that is just so annoying, talk about rubbing salt in the wounds!...but they think that thye are being 'funny' and probably have NO IDEA what the heartache feels like when you want a certain gender.

Sazzer:

DH has agreed we can do high tech - every time I bring it up he will brush it off, change the subject or it will end up in arguement!

...this is also very similar to my DH.....but I have decided that if i do not try I will always regret it and would resent him...I know its ALOT of ££ with no guarantee........but if he has agreed don't give up on it, he is probably a bit like my DH and hoping that you will 'forget' about it all!........I do feel a bit guilty as we do not have the money, bit I don't let him get a whiff of that!

GD is a hard burden to bear and no-one understands it unless they have felt it themselves.  I wish I didn't know what it was.  I am sorry you are having a hard time and I hope that you feel better soon.  You are not alone.  Hopefully there is a pink bean in your future too

PlanB:

Edited to add - my girls are not quiet! They do not sit there and look sweet. The couple of times I've brought my girls in to a hospital DD1 has run off and around hysterically. Maybe she might have girls like mine ;)

My DD1 doesn't sit still looking sweet either! - apart from sometimes when the CBeebies kids channel is on [What a god send that is] Personally I'm glad about that, I didn't want a stereotype girly, but I'd say she's at least as active/ rowdy as the little boys I've met.

I wonder about HighTech, its what keeps me going but it is unfair; everyone I know gets what they want without trying, I don't really have the cash yet I'm scrimping up for HighTech, what would life have been like without having to do this, what could I have used all that money & energy on instead?! And what if it didn't work. Plus DH isn't really into a 3rd baby, let alone going abroad & doing HighTech...

Thanks for your replies - am feeling better - although saw her sister yesterday and she said ' I am sure you will spoil the new baby as you only have boys and girls are much nicer to buy for!'  but apart from that...Am trying to get back focused on high tech next year - will worry about DH after Christmas - if I am not going to Mar/April only really need him to be on board Feb time...! He isnt really into having another baby but am sure once he looks at his daughter he will melt...

 x

PS - totally agree CBeebies - thats what they are doing now while I tap away!

I too know how you feel - it does hurt at times and people are sooo bloody disrespecful!

Vent away hun ((())) xx